We all have to take bites of the bittersweet apple that is dating…if we ever want to share our life with someone. Here are some things to keep in mind if you want to keep your mind!
Be the mouse: Too many woman will do anything to save or keep their boyfriend happy and the relationship going (no matter how new it is). True story: A twenty something roommate just started to date a guy who travels for business. Since he does travel so often, this guy doesn’t have a place to stay. No problem! Move in with me! The new girlfriend lets him live at her place, free of charge. Soon after, he gets a permanent transfer to another city. No problem! New girlfriend moves to that city to continue their relationship. No, I don’t have a life and thank you! See a trend here? While you’re at it, why don’t you buy a ring, slip it on your finger, and save him the hassle of all that hard work? Who wants to date the woman who will do any and everything for him? That sends the message that more interested in being his mommy. No challenges = boring every time in a man’s eye. Men want to pursue and chase those they are interested in. Let him chase you. Let him be the one who calls you and you need to let him off the phone early. The same goes for texting. Let him reach out and search for more contact with you. All you have to do is sit back and be flattered or find someone else wants to hold that position.
*On your first date: When it comes to deciding what to wear, I know your brain says “show him how hot I am”. Unfortunately, if you dress up in your most reveling outfit is says one thing: desperate for attention. This is not a good vibe because it tells him you have been dying for a guy to notice you. It lets him off the hook right off the bat because you demonstrating that your trying to impress him. Instead, dress casually. This doesn’t mean you can’t look sexy but do leave the imagination plenty to dream about. If you’re not wearing your “best, hot damn” outfit, it sends the message that you’re still sizing him up. It also tells him this isn’t the best moment in your life. Or in other words, you haven’t been thinking of nothing else besides this date.
*At the end of the date: Let him kiss you. 90/10 ladies.
The dreaded string of relationships: Too many times I hear my female friends feeling bad about having so many relationships that don’t work out. Why? You’re looking for that perfect man who fits you. That means almost all of your relationships will end. There is nothing you can do about it until you find the one. So you might as well enjoy the ride and be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. You need someone to fall in love with you, not an image you produce. Once you have a long-term relationship, it all comes out in the open; the good and bad. He will see your perfect hair and the 2-day dirty hair when you’re trying to meet a deadline in school or at work. He’ll love hearing all the humorous family stories you have but he’ll also meet your constantly drunk Uncle Eddie. So it is best to be honest up front, no one is perfect.
Don’t dwell: If he or you loses interest or the relationship doesn’t work out, don’t spend days or weeks racking your brains for what you did wrong or what went wrong. It’s easy to obsess over every detail but give your mind a break so you can stay sane. Let go, move on, push yourself up mentally, and eat a few pieces of chocolate.