Look Who’s Not Talking

When is a good time to have a baby?

You’re married and happy. But lately, you’ve started to hear that little “Tick, tick, TICK.” You want a baby and now. Other days you’re thankful you never went through with that idea as you sleep in, shop all day, and meet your girlfriends for margaritas. But always at the back of your mind is that infernal ticking.

In a restaurant as you have dinner with your husband; there is that one baby in the whole place seated next to you, just staring as if reproduction itself is eyeing you down. Of course, you look over at your husband chowing down on his sirloin and wonder how he can ignore it.

You imagine a fuzzy, idyllic delivery that produces a little sleeping angel. Somehow the excruciating pain and endless sleepless nights slip your mind. Meanwhile, your husband fixates on the dead spider plant in the kitchen and how much a baby costs as his cave man instincts kick in. Then, you both switch your thoughts just to make sure you have enough humor in your life.

On top of that, how do women do it? Should I return to work after the baby is born? Can I tear myself away from my own baby? Or should I just stay at home and be there all the time with the laundry, puke, and silence? Could I ever trust someone to take care of such a monumental being? After all, if I wanted one shouldn’t I be the one to take care of it? But will I be truly happy without work? Won’t I crave an adult interaction that returns more than spit up? Or will all these questions that plague us women without children not matter once we see our baby’s face?

What time is the best time? If I pursue more education or a longer career, for example until I reach 30—will that be at the expense of missing my ability to conceive easily? It also matter’s how many kids you and your partner want to have and spacing you want in between having your children. Thankfully, research on this subject tells us that women start having trouble at the age of 35 (not for all but just for some). Furthermore, if you have a baby passed 40, the increases for complications regarding the health and development of your baby increase significantly. That all makes sense to me but what about the exceptions? The younger couple in their 30’s who are not conceiving?

The realization hits you that there is never enough money as the lists tallies in your mind. You might as well hold your breath if you are waiting for that or win the lottery! The best answer is the easy one: have a baby when you and your partner are ready to have one. That might be choosing to have children early or later. We all have a long life to live with or without the twenty years it takes to have one and ship it off to college. When the time comes as to what you will do, you can only decided then. Baby or no baby, Epidural or natural birth, homemaker or working mommy.


2 thoughts on “Look Who’s Not Talking

  1. Bobbi says:

    Trying to plan when to have a baby is a tough one. So many things to consider in addition to the woman’s ticking clock. I agree with your conclusion to have a baby when both partners are ready.

  2. becca says:

    I am torn all the time about this! Trying to decide on what is acceptable to give and take on is complicating.

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